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Ocean's WHAT?
2007-06-19 16:10:27

ATTENTION, MINIONS! DROP EVERYTHING AND MEET ME IN THE STAGING AMPHITHEATER!

Are we all here? Good. Now, you all know how much I enjoy getting some fresh air from time to time by taking the elevator to the surface with the boys when they need to dump the bodies of botched test subjects into the industrial canal.

On one such "pleasure float" I happened to notice a billboard near the highway for a piece of (finger quotes) "filmed entertainment" opening today--June 8. I know, I know. It's well known I believe that "moving pictures" are good only for the mentally defective and elderly, not the honed, sophisticated minds of A.I.M.'s glorious scientist/stormtroopers.

BUT THIS "MOVIE FILM", OCEAN'S THIRTEEN, CONSTITUTES NOT ONLY AN INSULT TO THE HONOR OF I--MODOK!--BUT A SERIOUS BREACH OF A.I.M. SECURITY AND CAN BE ANSWERED ONLY WITH SWIFT AND MERCILESS CARNAGE!

No doubt you immediately recognize the similarities between the title of this moviefilm and our ongoing A.I.M. operation MODOK's 11 set to be disseminated in paper and ink form by our dupes and lackeys at the Marvel Comic Book Corporation this July.

The first question to be answered: How were the minions of Hollywood able to learn of the name of our top-secret plan? And so far in advance of its release date? Like hated S.H.I.E.L.D., could the Town of Tinsel be employing psionic or clairvoyant agents? Or, as is much more likely, is there a spy reporting to the William Morris Agency slinking through the very halls of A.I.M. itself?!!?

I ORDER THE SHOW TRIALS OF SUSPECTED TRAITORS TO BEGIN IMMEDIATELY! FRIEND WILL ACCUSE FRIEND, BROTHER WILL ACCUSE BROTHER, UNTIL ALL MOLES ARE EXPOSED AND--

(listens to whispering)

What? Speak up, Hendricks, I can barely hear you over your trembling.

(more whispering)

It did? Really? But ours is "MODOK's Eleven," not "Thirteen"--

(more whispering)

It's the sequel to the sequel of a remake of... Geez, that's complicated. Okay, okay. I got it.

So who came up with the code name for our operation in the first place? It was the A.I.M. Department of Marketing and Mind Control, wasn't it. Wasn't it? You know, it's just been one screw up after another with those guys. Whatever happened to the crackerjack who used to be head there? Pierce? None of that would have happened if he was still there. Whatever happened to Pierce? He joined Hydra, right?

(whispering)

Oh, no. That's right. I killed him.

BUT BACK TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND, MY MINIONS--We must track down the originators of this "Ocean's 11" and silence them, lest they leak word of our "MODOK's 11" too soon and ruin our plans--SO WHO ARE THEY?

(whispering)

THE RAT PACK?!? I knew it! It's that blasted Arnim Zola and his henchmen again! Here is a picture of their leader, the so-called (finger quotes) "Number One." When you see him, my faithful legions, disintegrate him on sight:

What? WHAT IS IT NOW HENDRICKS?!?!

(whispering)

I see. Different Rat Pack.

And they're all.. already dead, you say?

Uh-huh.

(long pause ... sound of crickets)

Hendricks, here, has just handed me a notice. Tonight's dinner menu in the commissary has changed. Instead of Salisbury steak it will now be pork chops.

(pause)

DON'T JUST STAND THERE GAWKING YOU FOOLS!! RETURN TO YOUR DUTIES!!

THIS WORLD'S NOT JUST GOING TO CONQUER ITSELF, YOU KNOW!!

Shame
I find my own nefarious plots pre-stolen by legions of Californian writers and other shamless public thieves, ALL the time.

My sympathies.

Posted by PseudoSherlock on 2007-06-08 10:08:56

I feel your pain...
Remember Independence Day? That was mine...except for the stupid Randy Quaid kamikazes the aliens sequence. I totally would have figured that out.

Posted by bigdaddyhub2 on 2007-06-08 11:28:31

Don't Fret
M.O.D.O.K. -

I don't think you should worry about Hollywood too much, especially anything to do with Ocean's 11, 12, or 13. That franchise is much like many S.H.I.E.L.D. efforts - extravagant ammounts of time and money invested for something that inevitably gets screwed up and wasn't worth it in the first place.

BTW - How much are you paying Hendricks? That guy seems to be on the ball. He's a keeper.

Posted by friskydingo on 2007-06-08 11:34:40

I thought the movie industry was a social experiment run by A.I.M.--if that's the case, presumably some internal documents got mixed up with movie plots.

Massive M.O.D.O.K., I recommend cancelling the entire movie industry project and killing its project leaders. It produces too many films glorifying your foul foes anyway.

Posted by NielsVanEekelen on 2007-06-08 13:06:57

well...usually
I wouldn't say that Incredible Hulk, Elektra, Daredevil or Ghost Rider were glorified too much through their hollywood forays.

Posted by bigdaddyhub2 on 2007-06-08 14:16:50

ummmm
WE DESTROY THIS MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted by tarhaun on 2007-06-08 19:50:28

Magazine Subscription overdue!
Um Hi Mr. M.O.D.O.K.,
This is the accounting department from Ziff Davies. You show in our records as being currently delinquent on your subscription payments to Popular Mechanics, Time Magazine, and um...Sparkle World! Could you fulfill your payments as soon as possible and also please don't send the Super Adaptoid to our offices anymore. He made quite a mess in the lobby last time. You should really teach him to adapt the toilet habits of adults instead of two-year olds.

Posted by glend_am on 2007-06-09 13:22:17

Super-Adaptoid is SOOOO 1960's!
Fear not, Ziff-Davis ... if you continue to pester me about magazine subscriptions, I shall not send the Super-Adaptoid after you, but instead AIM's most fearsome new creation, the ULTRA-Adaptoid, as soon as he makes his first appearance in SVTU:M11 #3, hahahahaha!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?!?!

Posted by I MODOK on 2007-06-10 10:16:42

No Adaptoids necessary please!
Dear Mr. M.O.D.O.K.,
Thank you for your swift reply. Our records show you owe $82.37 in subscription back fees. Please pay promptly or we will be forced to turn over your account to the Murdoch and Walter's law firm. Personally, we're told you wouldn't like Ms. Walter whens she's angry and Murdoch never seems to see your side of the story.
Thanks and Regards,
Ziff Davies Accounting Department

Posted by glend_am on 2007-06-10 13:38:02

MODOK
Forget about Clooney, Pitt and the rest of that Ocean's 13, you have bigger fish to fry, as in Roberto Downey Jr. as Iron Man.

Yeah, Iron Man.....

Posted by Shino23 on 2007-06-10 15:11:50

Destruction of France and hollywood Movies
I feel you dude. I mean 1st i planned to destroy france with a giant meteor but then "Deep impact" needless to say France still lives. Then I planned on mutant smart rats of course "Ratatouille" (or however it is spelled ). At this rate the french will be destroyed by someone else (and i even dibbed it)

Posted by myth1602 on 2007-06-10 17:07:00

A little advice
Mr. MODOK,

I was supposed to have a date last thursday evening, but I got stood up! She never showed! If I had your 144 lobes, I would probably just brain blast her into oblivion and then detonate a continent. What should I do?

Posted by bigdaddyhub2 on 2007-06-11 11:31:43

Join Me!
Ah, yes... Rage... Sexual frustration... Basic computer skills... Your abilities will be put to good use by Advanced Idea Mechanics, Big Daddy Hub2! Join AIM, and embark on a rewarding career of super science terror today!

Posted by I MODOK on 2007-06-11 12:04:21

the oceans movies were stupid
the oceans movies were stupid oceans thirteen is the second sequel of a remake
another stupid movie is pirates of the Caribbean I, II, and III.

Posted by freedom fighter on 2007-06-11 14:59:23

R.I.P.'ed off ideas
I had this one about these robots, only they could turn into cars and then back into robots. They were supposed to destroy the world but then some of the cars got all finger quotes "I am a hero and like earthlings" on me and then... oh wait that was someone else. Have a nice day.

Posted by comicsfan001 on 2007-06-12 17:17:31

Array

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About this blog:
BLOGDOK is the psychotic ramblings of a Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing. Or is it merely a decoy for a far more sinister plot? I, MODOK, have over 2,459 wholly separate plans for world domination running simultaneously in my highly advanced 144-lobed brain, so not even I know for sure!

About the author:
I, MODOK, first appeared in Tales of Suspense #94, created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby ("If This Be MODOK", Oct. '67) and I have been the butt of jokes about my giant head ever since. But now I shall have my revenge! IN BLOG FORM!!!


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