I am Jackal
Well I would create a clone of his/herself to disorientate the hero momentarily. That would give me the distraction I need to kill the superhero by slashing them with my electro-prod gloves.
Afterwards I would take a blood sample from that superhero, clone them and place a trigger inside their head so they would be under my control.....erm...our control MODOK.

Posted by s05bf0d4 on 2007-06-22 11:12:23
C'mon its Mr Immortal
the reason i picked him is because he's a pushover. I'd pick a dozen or so henchman in need of a major confidence boost, give them baseball bats and let them have at him. He's not that bright. We could probably lure him into a trap by making a Mr Immortal signal or something.

Posted by CaptainAmazing on 2007-06-22 11:53:27
It was Falcon. I'd smash his nest and clip his wings.

Posted by Fetsur on 2007-06-22 12:05:11
De-Invincibling Iron Man
I'd simply set off a nuclear weapon (I'm sure you have a couple laying around) far enough away to hit him with the EMP pulse, and then smack him around to finish him off. I don't care if he DID learn fighting tactics from Captain America, he's still nothing without that suit.

Posted by PseudoSherlock on 2007-06-22 14:28:31
Iron Man
Well I would start off making my evil plan, I would send Iron Man free food from my local restaurant I just opened. I would make the vegetables all fatty by injecting Fat cells in them and I would mix in more fatty cells in with the wine I would send him. By the end of the week his blood would be so thick of Fat that he would be at the brink of a Heart attack, So I would get a bomb and place it at the top of the avenger building. iron man would go to save the day, the bomb is just the decoy because I would hire henchman to come with me to beat him down, the henchman would use special magnet weapons to pull off his precious armour he hides in, Iron Man would give a good fight but all that exercies would not do good with his heart and once he tries to get a way I would tie him up with a bomb and launch him into space. If the bomb does not kill him, or the heartattack the lack of oxgyen will.

Posted by spidey0402 on 2007-06-22 14:46:33
Taking out the Wildcards
Being the businessman that I am, I have an economical solution to the problem of the lone-wolf vigilantes. First, you must know your enemy, so I would design a surveillance plan keeping the mainstay vigilantes under close watch. I would also probe any known living enemies of the vigilantes to gain information on habits and weaknesses they may have. I would then study the data and either bait a trap the vigilante would be unable to resist, or if at all possible, attack them at their home/sanctuary where they would be ill-prepared to do battle. After defeating them in battle, a would confiscate anything they might have used as a weapon or that could be of use to me later. If nothing else, they could bring in top dollar from the right collector.

Posted by loganspeedo on 2007-06-22 14:53:48
Murdering M.O.D.O.K.,

Hm, difficult...

The reason that has earned Dr. Strange my wrath is also the reason he will be difficult to defeat. How does one combat one who defies traditional logic?

My first strategy is to attack the master of vagaries with purest reason: that is to say, math: that is to say, numbers: that is to say, throwing a lot of warm bodies at him, armed with a lot of weapons.*

If the first strategy does not work, Strange's elimination should logically fall to our psy-division. With no conscious mind, Strange can cast no spells.

Lastly, should our foul opponent continue to beat the odds, there is always the option of prodding Strange's natural foes and manipulating them into attacking him, and continuing until one is succesfull. Dealing with creatures as mystical as Strange himself is distasteful, but in the name of Science, it shall be done!

Yours schemingly,
Niels van Eekelen

*) Depending on the availability of A.I.M. lackeys, it may be wise to outsource this to Hydra.

Posted by NielsVanEekelen on 2007-06-22 15:01:31
ummmm
my fists and a hellfire launcher

Posted by tarhaun on 2007-06-22 17:25:49
the fall of Britain (literally)
1) go to Captain Britain's favorite pub during the next Manchester/Liverpool match
2) Secure string across door frame at approx. 1 foot altitude
3) Laugh as he trips over it
4) Use your mental powers to get him to pick up our tab

The humiliation would force him to resign, or possibly become your slave.

Posted by doomtendo64 on 2007-06-22 17:31:32
A beat down the old fashioned way
Marvelous MODOK since I am a Sycophantic Organism Designed Only to Kiss-butt (SODOK) I chose Captain America to battle. However, since Cap is taking the big dirt nap, a fight with him will be an absolute breeze and to defeat him I would use just that. A breeze. Come on he's dead so a strong breeze should knock him over.

Having one of your underlings beat down the recently deceased icon of freedom will establish your street cred as the most completely mental organsim out there. The collected Mighty and New Avengers will quake at the mere mention of your name. I can hear Tony Stark whimpering already. Mighty indeed. No one is more Mighty than MODOK!

Posted by Norbie on 2007-06-22 18:28:25
DEATH LASERS.

Posted by stuckinazkaban on 2007-06-22 21:38:40
Luke Cage Must Die...
I picked Luke Cage, and I will destroy him from within.
Here are the proposed steps to accomplish the beatdown.
1. Quietly buy up cheap jewelry stores, becoming a Kingpin of Bling.
2. Add "Special Ingredient" to jewelry. (oversized rings, necklaces, and fake teeth)
3. Put cheap bling on 75% discount on store.
4. Advertise in liquor stores and "thrifty nickels".
5. Wait for Cage.
6. Allow Cage or his tramp Jessica to buy jewelry.
7. Confront Cage, activate "Bling Zing." A devastating dose of radiation, rendering Cage powerless.
8. Pelt Cage with beer cans, cotton swabs, used bandaids, and walmart pressed-wood furniture.
9. When Cage is down, I laugh for a long time and in a moment of rapture, I explain every nuance of this plan and explain to him that Bendis and I have been planning this for at least 3 years.
10. Repeat laugh.
11. Curb Sandwich.
12. Enjoy a truly sweet Christmas.

Posted by bigdaddyhub2 on 2007-06-23 17:51:00
NFL SuperPro no more!
Well, the plan was to destroy NFL SuperPro, and here is how I would accomplish this feat:

First, I'd form a team of cyborg henchmen, because cyborg henchmen are always looking for work. When I had that job in construction, there were a bunch of cyborg fellas who couldn't find anything else to do. I'd employ some of those guys and create a themed team of NFL SuperPro's evil opposites: MLB SuperPro! NBA SuperPro! NHL SuperPro! UFC SuperPro! NASCAR SuperPro! Etc. Their existence would serve to crush his dignity even further.

Second, I would kidnap his friends or relatives in order to lure him into a trap. Since he was put on trial back when (see my answer to the last question for the details), everyone knows he's really Phil Grayson. (I'm assuming he still has friends or relatives. If not, steal his pet or something. If he doesn't have that, uh... Call him up and offer to co-sign a bank loan or something.)

Third would be the beatdown. I don't think it would be that hard, considering it's, you know, NFL SuperPro. He did manage to defeat Quick Kick and Instant Replay, but I think he's too depressed these days to put up much of a fight. I heard Stilt-Man kicked his butt a year or two ago. Besides, my cyborg buddies are pretty strong. I think they can take him if they attack all at once.

I'd videotape the massacre, however, tease it out on YouTube or the like, and then sell copies of it on the internet, furthering my ill-gotten gains. Mwahahahah!

Posted by Bill Reed on 2007-06-23 19:28:29
Roaster Squirrel Girl
Well, Squirrel Girl, being so dangerous would require some extra care. Thankfully, my above average sized head would come up with a solution. First I would lure her from the rest of her teammates... perhaps distracting them with some replacable minions of less than average sized craniums. Or with a giant bag of acorns, or whatever she eats. Then I would go with whatever fit the situation... but seeing as her name is squirrel girl, I'm thinking a flamethrower might do the trick. Or I could use swords/guns and show that braggart Deadpool who the real merc is in this town... Either way, she'll be dead.

Posted by Azhag2 on 2007-06-24 10:55:32
Hero Torture
don't want to say too much-you know those filthy degenerate heroes read this interwub stuff- but it would involve an uncomfortable chair(s), lots of used dental floss to bind them to said chair(s), and hours upon hours of filmed interviews w/ Paris Hilton on a loop. Now THAT is torture, oh float-y one.

Posted by JAK8 on 2007-06-24 11:53:24
There are many ways to defeat Mister Fantastic. Some are purely physical, others are emotional and psychological exercises ending with Mister Fantastic broken.

1) Use some sort of freeze gun to make Mister Fantastic quite brittle, then smash him with something hard. One would then have to pick up pieces of Mister Fantastic off the floor, and for safety's sake, deposit each piece into a different incinerator.
2) Stretch Mister Fantastic until he can stretch no more. The outcome would be the same (Mister Fantastic in pieces) but perhaps a little messier, since the malleable flesh of Richards would still be warm.
3) Lead Mister Fantastic into a flawless trap where he is led to believe that all of his friends and family members have forsaken him, or have been killed. If done properly, Richards will end up a broken shell of a man.
4) If you lack the resources to develop such a death-trap, simply attempt to kill all of Mister Fantastic's friends and family for real. The end result will be roughly the same.

In fact, why choose just one? During the course of an afternoon, stretch Mister Fantastic to his limits then treat him with a freezing compound. All the while you could be showing him his friends and family having nasty things done to them. Some would be real, some would not. He would spend his final hours with a broken mind, wondering what's real and what's not. Then, of course, you smash his frozen body with a shovel. No more Mister Fantastic.

Posted by mikep3313 on 2007-06-25 02:24:44
Assualt on the Lame
The first tool I would use in my crusade against the abominations of the D-List would be to attack their brains, or lack-there-of. Psychological manipulation to mentally defeat our enemies and render them feeble (or rather more feeble). This would involve reminding them of how lame they are or making fun of certain physical shortcomings (hey, it works for adolescents). After a veritable barrage of verbal mental abuse, or targets would be in a weakened state for the coming attack.

First we break them down mentally before breaking them physically. By physically I mean with any available blunt object, at this point they are hardly going to put up a fight. Or we can use any of the various weapons, ray guns, and doomsday devices designed by the best and brightest of A.I.M. research and development (shout out)!

All this made possible by using the two greatest talent of our esteemed leader M.O.D.O.K., who is after all a Mental Organism and Designed Only or Kiling.

(I'm such a butt-kiss)!


Posted by SlymCyke on 2007-06-25 11:46:57
Killing Dazzler with modified DDR machine
Using my previously mentioned engineering expertise, I will produce a DDR machine programmed with Dazzler's songs that will prove irrestible to Dazzler.

After a few songs, the instructions "UP UP DOWN LEFT RIGHT DOWN EXPLODE YOURSELF" will trick her until killing herself with her own powers! Bwahaha!

Posted by Sideswiper on 2007-06-25 15:37:15
Hey Look!
Coverage! Look: http://www.majorspoilers.com/archives/1699.htm

Posted by The Gecko on 2007-06-26 01:54:14
Question 4
First, I would find a large group of AIM colleagues, because there is strength in numbers. Then I would grab as many high powered science weapons as we can find. Then, in true henchmen fashion, I’d ask that we all swarm around the heroes, firing in their general direction with various rockets and rays. There is a good chance we’ll hit them and if we don’t, we could thin out our numbers, which could set me up for a promotion to full-time henching. Plus, there is little chance of you getting capture and/or attacked. AIM scientists and henchmen are disposable, giant-brained mental organisms designed only for killing aren’t.

Posted by RSchrodt on 2007-06-26 16:51:59
Head-ed for Misery
I will crush his head! Crush it! Humbug has those silly little antennae on his helmet, and if I can crush his head, he will be unable to communicate with those bugs of his. And then victory will be mine! Erhh, I meant "ours"! Not everyone deserves to have their head crushed, just 99.99999% of them. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Tyzik) Humbug is definitely in that category... As are the rest of that infernal "Heroes for Hire" and those misanthropes in the Defenders... They are next.. Crushing their heads... crushing them...

Posted by optime on 2007-06-27 08:00:54
Spidey plan
While not an easy task, to complete the destruction of the Amazing Spider-Man would be a legendary feat. I would take advantage of what appears to be a fragile mental state based on his recent behavior, starting by hurting those closest to him. When he is distracted and not thinking clearly, I would inject him with an experimental serum I've created that I believe will nullify his spider powers temporarily. At that point he'd be an easy target for humiliation, which I'd start off by dressing him up like Shirley Temple and broadcasting world-wide the live footage of him dancing and singing "I'm A Little Teacup". His powers would likely return soon, but I believe we'd never see him again regardless, since the embarrassment caused by this display would send him into permanent hiding. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Posted by spiderseppy on 2007-06-27 19:31:29
Burn baby burn!
Well if I could give the ole Man-Thing anykind of beat down, I think first I would get him out of that blasted swamp. Do you have any idea how horrible that place is? Bugs, snakes, gators up the yin yang and then the mud! It just ruins the boots and would probably jam up your little rockets that scoot you around ALL MIGHTY M.O.D.O.K. So yeah, I'd take him out of the swamp and then I'd give him a full tank from a flame thrower. See how he likes to burn! And I'd give out this diabolical laughter! Kinda like BWAH HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah, that's how I'd do him! Yeah! That's the ticket!

Posted by glend_am on 2007-06-28 08:20:31
Question #4 from JGonspy
I would call this an absurd question if it had come from any other being. The easiest way to supplant Spider-Man as the premiere character of comicdom would to simply create a low budget M.O.D.O.K. feature. Naturally it would difficult to attain the adequate funds to create such a film, but surely half a billion dollars would be invested immediately after a few meet and greets at various local charity events. I should mention that the chair I created comes equipped with a clip-on tuxedo and jumbo sized top hat.

I'm assuming a large group of Oscar winning directors would be begging for a chance to create this film, but I believe James Cameron would be the best choice. Only his head appears to have the adequate swelling for such an enormous task. The star could only be M.O.D.O.K. and you would be supplied with an ample amount of servants to fetch you bottles of water or jump in front of any errant mental blasts.

If you're too busy with taking over the world, perhaps a M.O.D.O.A (Mental Organism Designed Only for Acting) could be deployed. Or maybe the severed head of Gary Busey.

Posted by JGonspy on 2007-06-29 23:02:00
Destruction!
Supreme M.O.D.O.K,

Upon receiving orders from my master to destroy the worthless human, Reed Richards (who dares to suggest that his brain is superior to the 144-lobed majesty that is M.O.D.O.K.’s) I would make quick work of this buffoon. Utilizing my stealth and agility attained from temping with The Hand, I would break easily into his ill-equipped laboratory. After sealing the two of us inside so that those other three idiots could not interrupt, I would use my military training and understanding of Richards’ inventions attained while temping with Hydra to outmaneuver and use his own worthless experiments against him. Once Richards is my captive, I would use his teleporter to bring him back to my master so that he may do with him as he pleases. Upon completion, I would use the skill and precision learned while posing as a Doombot to make the two of us Strawberry Daiquiris to celebrate the destruction of Mr. Fantastic! (Dr. Doom has a soft spot for Daiquiris…)

HAIL M.O.D.O.K.!


Posted by gomer_azrael_85 on 2007-07-01 13:16:29
Iron Man.
To Destroy My Enemy, I Would Walk Up Behind Him And Open With A Can Opener. The Kick His Tin Bucket Caboose All The Way To The Moon. Just to Satisfy My Lord, M.O.D.O.K.

P.S. I Love You
P.S.S. Chips Are Still Good


Posted by World_Conquest on 2007-07-01 13:29:29
Torturing DR. STRANGE!!
First, I would use the M'Kraan Crystal to protect myself during my search for the Infinity Gems and the Gauntlet. Once found, I will hand the Gems and Gauntlet over to you, Great MODOK! Then, I will use a gun possessing magic bullets to destroy Strange, then throw his carcass into the outermost reaches of the galaxy. After this, I will work overtime for the rest of eternity for MODOK, ruler of reality!

All HAIL LORD MODOK!

Posted by Strange110 on 2007-07-02 12:44:27
Destruction!
Supreme M.O.D.O.K,

Upon receiving orders from my master to destroy the worthless human, Reed Richards (who dares to suggest that his brain is superior to the 144-lobed majesty that is M.O.D.O.K.’s) I would make quick work of this buffoon. Utilizing my stealth and agility attained from temping with The Hand, I would break easily into his ill-equipped laboratory. After sealing the two of us inside so that those other three idiots could not interrupt, I would use my military training and understanding of Richards’ inventions attained while temping with Hydra to outmaneuver and use his own worthless experiments against him. Once Richards is my captive, I would use his teleporter to bring him back to my master so that he may do with him as he pleases. Upon completion, I would use the skill and precision learned while posing as a Doombot to make the two of us Strawberry Daiquiris to celebrate the destruction of Mr. Fantastic! (Dr. Doom has a soft spot for Daiquiris…)

HAIL M.O.D.O.K.!

Posted by gomer_azrael_85 on 2007-07-02 15:26:34
The Annihilation of Doctor Strange!
To begin my path of destruction, I shall brainwash every other member of the Illuminati, so as to show Strange the bitter irony I plan for his death. Then, I will have his fellow members seek out the six Infinity Gems, as well as the Gauntlet. Once found, they shall immediately hand it over to me, whereupon I will usurp Strange of all his magic energies. Then, I shall have his former friends take seperate blows at Strange until he is reduced to dust! I will then take the pile of dust and use the Gauntlet to tranform it into a statue of my almighty master MODOK! Immediately afterwords, I shall hand the Gauntlet over to Lord MODOK, the only being worthy to have it!

ALL WHO OPPOSE MODOK WILL PERISH!

Posted by Strange110 on 2007-07-02 20:09:25
Destruction!
Supreme M.O.D.O.K,

Upon receiving orders from my master to destroy the worthless human, Reed Richards (who dares to suggest that his brain is superior to the 144-lobed majesty that is M.O.D.O.K.’s) I would make quick work of this buffoon. Utilizing my stealth and agility attained from temping with The Hand, I would break easily into his ill-equipped laboratory. After sealing the two of us inside so that those other three idiots could not interrupt, I would use my military training and understanding of Richards’ inventions attained while temping with Hydra to outmaneuver and use his own worthless experiments against him. Once Richards is my captive, I would use his teleporter to bring him back to my master so that he may do with him as he pleases. Upon completion, I would use the skill and precision learned while posing as a Doombot to make the two of us Strawberry Daiquiris to celebrate the destruction of Mr. Fantastic! (Dr. Doom has a soft spot for Daiquiris…)

HAIL M.O.D.O.K.!


Posted by gomer_azrael_85 on 2007-07-02 23:48:56
The gruesome end of Slapstick...
Well it's quite simple really. The demise of any well done animated character is ultimately started with an attempt to make it more "kid friendly". So, I would begin by changing Slapstick's name. Slap, sounds too violent. Thus I would change it to Tickle. And Stick, well, sticks are used for hitting and we can't have that. So I would change it to pickle. And so from henceforth Slapstick shall be known as Tickle-Pickle. And who would ever pay attention to anyone named Tickle-Pickle. His shame would be what causes his demise. You inspire me MODOK. You inspire me to not be the best of good, but to be the good-est of bad.

Posted by JediJester on 2007-07-03 05:18:30
Lord MODOK

It would appear my answer for your Q #4 was yesterday deleted, along with a poster's answer following mine, which I suppose explains why their post was repeated, whereas I rewrote mine. However, it has reappeared since yesterday, and I beg you to not destroy me for having given a second answer!

Posted by Strange110 on 2007-07-03 09:51:20
Superpro Beating Plan
I would like, poison his gatorade or something, and then hit him with a big rock while he was throwing up.

Posted by dukesed on 2007-07-05 20:21:19
Defeating Mr. finger qoutes Fantastic
To defeat Reed Richards is simple. He is supposed to be the smartest man alive. As if! He is still just a guy and the more stuff you put in your brain the more your mind soaks up material. We tell him that there is some kind of big crisis coming that only stretchy smart guys could stop. What we do is trap him in a huge piece of flypaper so he can't move. Then we set him in front of a huge widescreen television. At this point we make him watch an endless loop of interviews with Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Jessica Simpson. This is sure to decrease his brain cell count (I know it has mine) until he no longer cares about stopping the great MODOK. Instead he will believe that MODOK is surplus shipping ports (mo' doc) and not care anymore. At this point we take over the world and hide Paris, Lindsay and Jessica to use as our secret weapons.

Posted by comicsfan001 on 2007-07-06 17:38:24
As I mentioned we do it like this. Punisher plus "Insert heroes name here" skull equals "BWAHAHAHAAAA"

Posted by myth1602 on 2007-07-08 04:20:47