Flipping the S.H.I.E.L.D.
It's funny you should mention that. I have accually been working my way into S.H.I.E.L.D. as a double agent to gather intelligence of their activities for you. While my probes into their financal records haven't produced results quite yet, I have gained access to their systems and can provide you with backdoor access should you need it and for some unlikely reason, don't already have one. Your preliminary scans of me have shown no bugs on me to use to report back to the boys in blue.
On an interesting note, my infiltration of S.H.I.E.L.D. has grown into a bit of a cancer. I have "befriended" a few lesser members of S.H.I.E.L.D. and persuded them to assist me in my endevours to bring them down. I've gotten the janitors to stop using anti-bacterial soap and disinfectants to promote a less healthy atmosphere, the cooks are slowly posioning the ranks with their food, and I have a secretary helping me place listening devices throughout their headquarters.
Plus, after looking at their benefits program, I have found some deficencies which no worker should have to put up with. The HMO is one of the worst I've seen, the 401K invest heavily in junk bonds and there is no match fund from S.H.I.E.L.D., you only get 15 minutes for lunch and you have to work holidays. What kind of corporate culture is that, huh? They deserve to be shut down. I intend to A.I.M. higher than that.

Posted by loganspeedo on 2007-06-29 13:51:26
well
i don't work 4 that crappy orgization because i hate it and i hate tony stark and plus i have close to no knowledge of S.H.I.E.L.D. as for proveing,you can do an entire background check on me.

Posted by tarhaun on 2007-06-29 14:22:37
Not a SHIELD agent
I'm clearly not a SHIELD agent because the new incarnation of SHIELD would never rival the viciousness of the old Nick Fury-led SHIELD, and only the insidious power of AIM is left to be worthy of adoration.

That aside, if you'd like me to prove it by taking out their current leader, the aforementioned Iron Man, I'd be happy to!

Posted by PseudoSherlock on 2007-06-29 17:03:56
I can do something nasty to this signed photo of Nick Fury.

Posted by Fetsur on 2007-06-29 20:13:39
Maniacal M.O.D.O.K.,

Truthfully, the vile insult that I might be in any way connected to the science amateurs of S.H.I.E.L.D. almost provoked me to drop out of the application process entirely, but I suppose I can see your concerns.

As for proof, it is difficult to provide truly definitive evidence. I can only suggest that for my first assignment, you command me to commit actions S.H.I.E.L.D. would never approve of. Something involving death, for instance. Preferably of the costumed variety.

Yours loyally,
Niels van Eekelen

Posted by NielsVanEekelen on 2007-06-29 20:27:40
Question #5 from JGonspy
I have no eye patch, and I'm under the impression that agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. all wear eye patches. If that is no longer the case given the current administration, then I would like to point out that I don't have an alcoholic drink in either of my mandibles either.

If this does not suffice, then I throw myself at your mercy and ask for a swift killing from the greatest organism designed for the task. It would be an honor to be felled by the best, nearly as great an honor as it would be to work for the best.

Posted by JGonspy on 2007-06-29 23:08:14
I am Jackal
I do not have any quick way to prove my liegence to you MODOK.....except this.

*stabs himself*

Aargh....I have cloned myself time and time again. When one Jackal dies, two more take his place. I hope this will convince you master.

*dies*

*suddenly two more Jackal's enter the room*.

We are here to serve you master. You will not only have an army with A.I.M. but you will also have an army of Jackal's at your disposal. Nothing can defeat us now.

Posted by s05bf0d4 on 2007-06-30 06:51:21
Bad Liar
I can prove without a shadow of a doubt that I am not one of the many expendable drones of SHIELD because, quite frankly, I am a terrible liar. I can’t even lie to my girlfriend without being more obvious than Northstar at a straight man’s convention.

The ability to fib without showing to most outwards of signs was not a genetic quality with which I was gifted. Now this would probably make me a bad agent to infiltrate the enemy camp, but it also makes me one of the most loyal.

That is another fact that also makes me one of the AIM elite, my loyalty is without question. To my friends and family, my loyalty knows no bounds. If MODOK wishes to borrow a ten-spot without having to pay it back, this won’t be a problem. If MODOK needs help moving his sectional to the top of his new third floor apartment, I’m there. However, my one stipulation is, and where my loyalty runs out would be if MODOK took it upon himself to still my girl, that’s just bad form (like that @#$% Pete, who is so on “the list”).

So in conclusion, my loyalty to the glory that is MODOK, and my inability to tell the simplest of white lies without grinning like a mad hyena proves conclusively that I am not a rat from SHIELD, and serve faithfully only the 144-lobed one!


Posted by SlymCyke on 2007-06-30 13:33:23
S.H.I.E.L.D, shmeild
What does S.H.I.E.L.D even stand for? Strategic hazard whatever. I'll tell you what it stands for: Small Headed Idiots Ever Lose Duels! They don't even compair to the awesome AIM and Might MODOK. If creating a virus to increase your glory and beating up a corpse isn't enough to prove my loyalty to AIM then I guess I'll have to reveal that I have a tattoo in an embarrassing spot on my body. Because I am so devoted to you MODOK I got a tattoo of your visage on my left butt cheek. I am that devoted to you and AIM. I don't know how else to convince you I am not a undercover S.H.I.E.L.D agent. Well I do have a secret passion for cylindrical helmets.

Posted by Norbie on 2007-07-01 01:44:58
I'm Not.
I Love You, I Would Never Betray You, My Lord. Those Scum Buckets Will Die Underneath Your Iron Fist. Tony Stark Will Perish In A Line Of Fire. I Love You My Big Head Master. I Would Sever My Own Limbs For You. If You Would Like I Will Serve As A S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent To Gather Data On Their Plans, My Master. The Helicarrier Will Sink Far Into The Depths Of The Ocean, My Lovely Lord.

P.S. I Love You
P.S.S. Tony Will Perish
P.S.S.S You Will Rule
P.S.S.S.S Chips Are Still Good

Posted by World_Conquest on 2007-07-01 13:38:30
So Hilarious In Efforts Lowering Defenses
Awe-Inspiring M.O.D.O.K.,

S.H.I.E.L.D…How mighty they see themselves. Do they really think one more letter in their acronym makes them superior to M.O.D.O.K.?! As for your question of my loyalty and the ensuing destruction from your beautifully ornate ruby-red headband…I offer you this Angel-Food Cake. S.H.I.E.L.D. cannot possibly understand the pleasure my master finds in eating this delicious masterpiece. Next, while I understand my temping at Hydra, the Hand, and posing as a Doombot may make me a questionable candidate, I offer you my live (or dead upon your decision) brain and body to experiment upon as you please. If either of these gestures does not ensure my loyalty to that which is magnificence, I also offer you a new headband with an even larger ruby with which to teach imbeciles lessons. I know how much your old one gives you a rash and thought a new one might make things a tad easier. I apologize for my appearance of being anything less than loyal, and await your decision…although if you get rid of me that means no more Daiquiris…

HAIL M.O.D.O.K.!


Posted by gomer_azrael_85 on 2007-07-01 13:47:17
Raging Fury
As you know from my background check, my parents (okay, actually my dog) were killed by Nick Fury during that whole "Double Edge" thing in the mid 90's with the Punisher. Okay, it wasn't actually Fury, but a rogue LMD... but still, SHIELD was responsible. I have systematically killed many LMDs in the past decade, and then I went after the scientists who created the LMDs. Well, they weren't the actual scientists, but a couple rookie SHIELD agents dressed up as doctors while recreating their fave scene from "ER". Wait, I can now claim to have killed a few SHIELD agents! Doesn't that show my loyalty? Hmm, is your red death glow now turning amber? That's a good thing, right?

Posted by optime on 2007-07-02 09:36:33
Why I Don't Spy on LORD MODOK for SHIELD
Great MODOK, while I guarantee I would do no wrong to you or anyone serving you, I understand your concern, as one as great as you has many foolish enemies who wish to topple your rule.

First, I will allow you to do a complete scan of my brain, picking at my innermost thoughts, though I promise you will find nothing but the deepest admiration for you in those thoughts, Lord MODOK.

If you find the deepest hint of treachery in those thoughts, LORD MODOK, I beg you, give me a full lobotomy so that I never have such thoughts again. Though I may not be able to serve you in such an intelligent manner, tis better to have half a brain than to be an enemy of the Great MODOK!

ALL BOW BEFORE MODOK!

Posted by Strange110 on 2007-07-02 12:54:17
Shield? BAH!!!!
I would never work for or even be associated with SHIELD. And here's why.
1. inconsistent Naming Conventions. SHIELD- Supreme Headquarters, International Espionage, Law-Enforcement Division changed to Strategic Hazard Intervention, Espionage and Logistics Directorate. What next? So Have I Enjoyed Lunch or Dinner? Short Hairy Intellectuals for the Entertainment of Lazy Dictators? too much uncertainty there.
2. I don't look good enough to be a SHIELD agent. If I were being cast in a movie, you would have me played by Oliver Platt or a reanimated Chris Farley. Not Josh Hartnett. (Ashton Kutcher is an LMD. True story.)
3. I would never wear the SHIELD unitard. I prefer the comfortably baggy yellow hazard suit. And I prefer to have my anonymity preserved by wearing this...um...what do you call this thing over my head, anyway?
4. SHIELD is full of Skrulls and I hate me some Skrulls.
5. I can't be a SHIELD agent because Fetsur and Pseudosherlock are.


Posted by bigdaddyhub2 on 2007-07-02 14:24:07
#&%$ SHIELD
Instead of having animal heads mounted on my wall, I have an array of SHIELD agent craniums on display for all to see.
Nothing says commitment like human trophies...

What did I do with the bodies you may ask? How's that burger taste MODOK?
I think you follow me, and I think thats a giant smile on your giant head.

Posted by JAK8 on 2007-07-02 17:58:39
The Hill does in fact have eyes
The fact is, I couldn't be a SHIELD agent even if I had my own vibranium shield, adamantium bones and hot supermodel/actress wife. See it was this one night last summer when Colonel Fury came out of hiding for a night of appletinis and Friends dvds. After burning through all of seaon 6 and my stash of Pucker, we then decided it would be a good idea to TP Maria Hill's house, which we did. Unfortunately, we only got through one roll before tripping the security (in retrospect, thats pretty good seeing as she was at the time the head of the most high-tech security force in the world). Before I could get "lets get out of here" out of my mouth, Fury ups and goes underground again, leaving me to absorb all the blame and repulsor blasts.

If you still don't trust me, I'd be glad to leave a flaming bag of unpleasentness on her porch, but only if you promise to wait till I'm clear before telekinetically ringing the doorbell.

Posted by doomtendo64 on 2007-07-02 20:40:23
Lie detection and two lobed brains
I considered building a device that would detect whether or not an individual SHOULD declare loyalty to MODOK... but of course that device is too simple. Regardless of who presses the button the "should be loyal to MODOK" light is illuminated.

But how hard could it possibly be to develop an accurate lie detector that works on puny two lobed brains? I've already got plans for one, however it is a destructive test and the brain in question no longer functions after testing. I'm sure you've already developed a more elegant device, oh great MODOK.

Posted by Sideswiper on 2007-07-03 08:11:49
A Trick Question?
I know this is a trick question, as MODOK's mind is superior to my puny two-lobed brain and he would know if I am a double agent from the moment I walked into the room. Therefore, answering this question would insult MODOK's intelligence, and that is the last thing I want to do.


Posted by mikep3313 on 2007-07-03 16:35:21
Torture, lobotomy, watch 72 hours of golden g
Ah, there are so many ways for you to test my loyalty MODOK. First of all, if you wish to follow the path of that delightfully viscious Jack Bauer you could try torturing me for information. Of course that might not realyl cause me to tell the truth, as I would never reveal your secrets under torture. Another option is that you could lobotomize me and inspect my brain itself for answers, but unfortunately this would render me rather useless to your organization. As a true test of loyalty I will watch three days worth of whatever painful show you desire. Three days of golden girls? Of Superfriends? I will watch them all to prove myself to you.

Posted by Azhag2 on 2007-07-03 19:06:28
My trembling
The fact that I'm trembling at the mercy of your death ray should prove I'm not a trained soldier or spy. A S.H.I.E.L.D. agent would likely be cool and collected, as they would have to be one of the most highly trained agents in the organization to make it to this point of the interview process. My trembling knees and, um, untrained bladder should be proof I am no spy. I pray I survive the interview process so you may mold me into your confident, fearless image!

Posted by spiderseppy on 2007-07-05 17:56:52
Bah!
Bah! I would never ally myself with those dirty scum at SHIELD! I mean, Nick Fury hit on my grandma one time. That's just not right. He must pay!!!

And besides, I've got an "I Hate SHIELD" bumper sticker. If you can't trust a bumper sticker, what can you trust?

Posted by Bill Reed on 2007-07-05 18:30:07
Ummm....
Would a note from my mom help?

Posted by dukesed on 2007-07-05 19:36:18
Question 5
First of all, as I've stated before, I have an impressive beard. As you know, SHIELD is pretty excessive in their rules regarding facial hair. Unruly neckbeards generally aren't accepted. That alone should clear my name. Secondly, I'm pretty broke and it is my understanding that SHIELD pays really well. You can see my bank account if you want, there's nothing in there. Heck, I dream of being an AIM agent so much that I wanted to dress up as one last year for Holloween and my non-SHIELD level monetary situation prevented me from being able to afford an awesome beekeeper outfit that would allow me to look like an AIM agent. Instead, I tried to use science to steal candy (start small, I always say). Is that something a SHIELD agent would do, almight MODOK?

Posted by RSchrodt on 2007-07-06 10:14:46
Shield? What's that?
Ummm... I never heard of them. Who are they? or what? well anyway i know about MODOK the great and powerful and if I am supposed to hate shield I will. Besides AIM, I get it you point and aim and shoot. A shield? that's for cowards. We should have a fair fight with those guys. You know the kind where we are armed and they aren't and then at the end we stomp and destroy them. At the end we can toss their "shields" around like frisbees and have a picnic. Then destroy stuff. Then a three legged race. And then blow up stuff. Then we can play softball. And finally we can go on a rampage and destroy more stuff. Umm.. please don't destroy me. I am more interested in destroying for you than being destroyed. and if you need a list of references i have attached them to my resume along with my work history and records of destruction and mayhem. Also are there benifits? Dental I mean?

Posted by comicsfan001 on 2007-07-06 18:01:00
If I was SHIELD I would actually have points to my blogs. Therefore I am not

Posted by myth1602 on 2007-07-08 04:24:18
PENCILS DOWN SLAVES!!!
It is 11:00pm Eastern Standard Time! As previously threatened, entries to the MODOK Job Interview are now CLOSED!! Applicants, please shuffle outside my office and await meekly while I set my 144-lobed brain toward the awesome task of deciding among so many worthy potential minions.

CONTINUOUSLY CHECK BLOGDOK FOR THE IDENTITY OF THE WINNER TO BE REVEALED!! IT WILL BE REVEALED SOON!! SOON, I TELL YOU!!

Posted by I MODOK on 2007-07-08 23:02:55
The Iron Man Scumbag
Mighty MODOK, please teach Iron Man a lesson in MODOK's ELEVEN. He has been a real jerk lately.

Posted by Venomfan1995 on 2007-07-08 23:57:19