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MODOK's San Diego Report 2007
2007-08-08 12:18:40
I know it's been a while since I've issued you a communique, Interweb slaves. I APOLOGIZE FOR NOTHING!! Thanks to a week's worth of glucose packs spiked with Red Bull, I at last have recovered from my trip to the (finger quotes) "Comic-Con International" in San Diego to promote SVTU: M11.
And I have deemed you worthy to have my observations shared with you. No, no: No need to thank me. Laying down your lives in my service is enough.
First off: I know you can't see this over the Interweb, but I am doing extra exaggerated finger quotes for (finger quotes) "Comic-Con International." The more accurate way to describe it would be the (finger quotes) "Comic TV Movies Video Games Fantasy Art RPG Magic the Gathering T-Shirt Soft Core Porn Cable Syndication Back Issue Washed-Up and Not-So-Washed Up Actor Masquerade Vampire Small Press Genre Novel Action Figure Manga Anime Little Plastic Figurines That Can't Move So I Guess They're Technically Not Action Figures But I Don't Know What Else To Call Them Con."
Or, perhaps even more accurately, the Anyone Who Wants To Separate Fans from Their Money Con.
And did the fans come? O, did they come. They stampeded there faster than Red Skull hitting the Cash Bar during our meetings for the "Acts of Vengeance" crossover. (Red Skull? They should call him Red Liver. Glug, glug.)
I haven't heard any accurate estimates yet, but using my advanced 144-lobed brain I would conservatively estimate the number of attendees at 500 BILLION PEOPLE. At least that's what it felt like. The San Diego Convention is on the harbor, you know, and I think we're all lucky it didn't tip over into the sea. With the constant rubbernecking at one celebrity to the next, and all the different sprawling "immersive environment" movie-related booths, you could barely move on the convention floor at any given hour. Going from one side of the hall to the other made me feel like I was leading an Amazon jungle expedition. And that's not just because I was making my way through with a machete.
(Note to self: Make machetes standard sidearms for all A.I.M personnel.)
And then I'd go back to me and Hendricks' hotel room and turn on the TV or pick up the newspaper ... and all the news was about the !@@$%! Comic-Con! There was no escaping it!
I DO NOT SUPPORT THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA'S EMBRACE OF COMIC BOOK CULTURE! THE GOALS OF ADVANCED IDEA MECHANICS ARE NOT YET FULLY REALIZED AND OUR SCHEMES WILL BE BEST REALIZED OUTSIDE THE NEWS SPOTLIGHT, PARTICULARLY THAT BLONDE CHICK FROM THE LOCAL SAN DIEGO NEWS STATION YUKKING IT UP WITH "CAVEMAN ROBOT"!
Although, that is the best part of Comic-Con: It is, without a doubt, the greatest People Watching spot on Planet Earth, bar none. Setting aside the sheer number of vampires and Princess-Leia-as-Jabba's-Slave-Girl costumes ... my favorite are the people who are dressed like something you can't quite put your finger on...
Then you realize, with a quicksilver frisson of horror, "Wait a minute... That's what that person dresses like all the time!!"
I know what you're thinking. How was I -- MODOK! -- able to people watch and peruse the convention floor with impunity, knowing the warrant and reward S.H.I.E.L.D. has put on my prodigious head?
That was the easy part.
JUST WHO DO YOU THINK WAS INSIDE THAT GIANT FLOATING STORMTROOPER HELMET?!?
Any of you have any conventions to recommend?
This was my second year going and the first year taking my girlfriend. She loved it so much she wants to go to cons all the time now. She wants to go to wondercon in san fran and we'll probably go to the phoenix con just because it's close. Which will probably be better because they probably won't be near as insane with people... san diego needs to legalize human hunting for population control reasons!
Posted by Shonzi on 2007-08-08 13:58:53
miss this one
Don't attend the Geneva Convention, Great MODOK. All they do is tell you what you can't do...like church camp without the bon-fires. BAH!
Posted by bigdaddyhub2 on 2007-08-08 14:57:06
I WONDERED about that giant floating stormtrooper helmet...
Posted by sononsj on 2007-08-09 01:53:46
Onslaught is better! But oh great MODOK, you come in a close second when it comes to coolness and omni-ness.
Posted by lord thunder on 2007-08-11 17:11:10
M.O.D.O.C.K.E.R.S.
I'd just like to point out the M.O.D.OC.K.E.R.S. again. View the comment in your last blog entry.
Posted by Venomfan1995 on 2007-08-13 22:39:14
Venom Fan,
I don't why you want me to get on Dockers for producing the only truly comfortable and for-fitting line of slacks for floating vestigial legs.
If anything, they deserve a MEDAL!
Posted by I MODOK on 2007-08-14 16:51:16
Your own shoe line. . . . hmm, means of world domination and human enslavement? Just think about it (just don't kill anyone when you do so.)
Posted by lord thunder on 2007-08-15 19:37:17
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About this blog:
BLOGDOK is the psychotic ramblings of a Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing. Or is it merely a decoy for a far more sinister plot? I, MODOK, have over 2,459 wholly separate plans for world domination running simultaneously in my highly advanced 144-lobed brain, so not even I know for sure!
 | About the author:
I, MODOK, first appeared in Tales of Suspense #94, created by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby ("If This Be MODOK", Oct. '67) and I have been the butt of jokes about my giant head ever since. But now I shall have my revenge! IN BLOG FORM!!! |
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