NATE EXPLAINS IMPULSE TO JORDAN
2008-07-29 10:24:47
Before we begin this installment…as promised, I said that I would present the post from the reader that gave the best explanation for who Aztek the Ulitmate Man is. I did this because Jordan has never read a DC comic before (“So, is Dark Knight a Blade sequel?" he keeps asking me).
We got WELL OVER TWO RESPONSES!! Well done, everyone.
In second place, Rich Johnston (whom I’m told lies in gutters) wrote:
“Champion of the Aztec deities, he's got a magic costume powered by a 4D mirror in his helmet that gives whatever powers Grant Morrison and Mark Millar wanted him to have. Joins the JLA, but it turns out he was always funded by Luthor. Twist!”
Very nice and concise, Rich. But there can only be one winner, and it was CT Willis, who correctly answered:
“Sorry Nate, I was going to give some bio info on Aztek but I was distracted by Redskins training camp updates.”
Well done, Mr. Willis! (but keep in mind, you get a pass here because you were the only one to talk about football. I’ll no longer be accepting NFL football answers, since we’re less than FIVE weeks away from the college kickoff).
Let it begin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NATE EXPLAINS IMPULSE TO JORDAN
NATE: You may have noticed that I’m trying to write more blog entries.
JORDAN: I have. I have noticed. Any particular reason?
NATE: Yes. I’m getting excited because
a) I’m finally finishing up a huge long-term non-Marvel writing assignment this week, and I can FINALLY see light at the end of the tunnel.
b) I’m getting started on the CLOAK & DAGGER mini-series that Valerie D’Orazio and Irene Flores are writing and drawing, and it’s getting my creative juices flowing.
c) The crappy All-Star game has already happened, which means we’re over HALFWAY THROUGH THE CRAPPY BASEBALL SEASON!!!!!!!!!! That means they’re almost done, and that means that FOOTBALL’S ABOUT TO START!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JORDAN: Well… congratulations on all three. So, time for me to explain another classic Marvel comic to you?
NATE: Absolutely not. I’m feeling nostalgic, and wanna hearken back to the days when I only read DC books (and UNTOLD TALES OF SPIDER-MAN from Marvel). First up, because I had to work with the super-cool Humberto Ramos on a design project for a few weeks, I figured we could talk about his finest work, IMPULSE.
What do you know about Impulse, Jordan?
JORDAN: Hm. I know he was created by Todd Dezago and Mike Wieringo, both of whom I love. I know his name is Bart Allen, and that he’s a descendant of Barry Allen from way in the future. He was a speedster. I vaguely remember references to him being raised by Iris Allen, Barry’s wife? But I don’t really know how that works. I read about him in Young Justice as Impuse (where he annoyed his teammates), then in Teen Titans as Kid Flash (where he got really smart really fast), then in Flash as flash (where he got killed). And… I think he was in Zero Hour? I read that.
NATE: Sigh. It just makes my heart sad.
FIRST, Mark Waid and Wieringo created him. SECOND, you misspelled Impulse (Impuse?). THIRD, he was raised by virtual reality, not Iris.
Here’s what you need to know BEFORE the good stuff: Bart Allen is Barry Allen’s grandson. He’s from the 30th century. His metabolism moved too fast, and so the future people stuck a virtual reality helmet on him and he turned twelve in two years. So his grandmother, Iris, took him to the “present” so that he’d learn how to slow down before he turned ninety in five years.
That’s the stuff that doesn’t really matter. With me so far?
JORDAN: Almost. Uh, Barry Allen was around in the Silver age, and now he’s dead… but his grandson is from the 30th century?
NATE: I told you, this is the stuff you don’t need to know.
JORDAN: Alright, fine.
NATE: Here’s the good stuff – Flash (Wally West, Bart’s cousin) doesn’t have time to train Bart. So he gives Bart to Max Mercury, this grizzled old guy with a cool old-school costume, who’s trained a bunch of speedsters in the past (man, I love the word “speedsters”). So they move down to Manchester, Alabama, where Max tries to teach Bart how to sloooooooooooow down and enjoy life.
So you’ve got the fastest moving kid living in the slowest area of the country, and it drives him NUTS.
JORDAN: And so, young Nate in Mississippi could relate? Yeah, from what I read of Bart, I can imagine he would hate taking things slow. So, what happens?
NATE: Well, he doesn’t acclimate well. Max forces him to enroll in high school, which is the WORST, because he can’t play sports (he’s too fast), he can’t relate to the people (he’s from the future), and he can’t find any villains to fight (they’re in the South). So it’s really about Bart screwing up at EVERYthing. The best issue is #3 (one of my favorite single issues of all time). It takes place in one school day. Max challenges Bart to fit in and make friends at his high school. So Bart tries, then proceeds to tick off EVERYONE at the school, ultimately resulting in a giant school-wide brawl on the football field, with Bart and Max sitting in the stands, watching the carnage. Oh, and Bart has time to go to Paris and stop a robbery. It’s so great.
JORDAN: That sounds pretty good. You know what you should do? Have Jeff Parker write an X-Men: First Class story where Quicksilver’s grandson comes back in time. You can call him… Mercurio.
NATE: I hate Quicksilver, and anything that might come from Quicksilver’s loins.
JORDAN: …Ok. Then it can be your other favourite, Makkari of the Eternals’ grandson.
NATE: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Eternals am Nate’s kryptonite!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Jordan, kryptonite is the green glowing rock that can hurt Superman)
JORDAN: I know what Kryptonite is! I read, like… a zillion DC books a week. I am sure there is all sorts of current DC continuity that I know that you have no idea about.
NATE: Bull. I’ve read EVERY issue of Tiny Titans so far.
Have a good weekend, everybody!
BYE OMAR AND EMMETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RATING: WR (WORTH READING)
p.s. - Tune in tomorrow for a brand new segment:
HOW I KILLED ARES THIS WEEK
Congratulations Nate. You beat everyone to the punch in announcing the Cloak and Dagger mini that hasn't officially been announced yet. Niiiiice. =) (even though Mr. LITG strongly hinted at it this week)
Posted by friskydingo on 2008-07-25 21:22:33
Ares DC or Marvel?
Posted by ronch on 2008-07-26 01:53:42
Cool. Thanks for the announcement Nate! :)
Posted by Aziroth on 2008-07-29 13:11:03
Cloak & Dagger We announced it yesterday right here on Marvel.com, chuckleheads:
My prize Nate I have still not recieved my prize for explaining Aztek to Jordan. Right now I should be reading about what the Va.Tech offense is going to be doing this year but I am stuck corresponding with you.
Todd Willis
Posted by ctwillis on 2008-07-30 14:43:24
Nice explanation, I liked Bart, to bad he is death, well, its a comic he may return some day.
Posted by Redy1 on 2008-07-31 16:07:18
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About this blog: By day, he’s a mild-mannered comic book editor! By night, he’s an obsessive sports fan!
By early morning, he drinks coffee and then runs! He’s Nathan Cosby, and he has thoughts about things.
This is them.
About the author: When Associate Editor Nathan Cosby is not thinking about football, he edits Marvel’s All-Ages books, including the Marvel Adventures line (Spidey, FF, Avengers, Super Heroes), X-Men and Wolverine First Class, Franklin Richards, Mini Marvels, and Power Pack, works on the Marvel Illustrated and Stephen King books, does the Custom Comics, and runs Super Hero Squad. There’s like 20 other things he does, but he’s bored with typing this.
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