Sound the trumpets, Marvel faithful
With two weeks of solid Winter Games action on tap, the "Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?!" team will provide daily video and news updates about all your favorite events. From figure skating to ice hockey to cross-country skiing and more, M.O.D.O.K., Gremlin, She-Hulk and all the stars of "What The--?!" will be on-hand to deliver the hard-hitting Marvel Winter Games coverage you're looking for!
By Craig Tello
VANCOUVER - "He whose limbs shatter mountains and whose back scrapes the sun" is Fin Fang fuming after British Columbian authorities ordered Foom to depart from western Vancouver early Sunday, alleging that the 32-foot "dragon" was responsible for the recent snow deficit and warmer than ideal temperatures.
|Fin Fang Foom calls a press conference|
For weeks, Vancouver officials grew worrisome that the insufficient snow cover upon Cypress Mountain would hinder the rapidly approaching winter games. Tracing a detected heat source, authorities discovered the hibernating dragon-like monster huddled atop the mountain breathing flames of more than 1300°C in its sleep. The drowsy, sloppy-lipped beast's sputum had also settled into a 19-gallon pool of acid spittle.
"I refuse to be marginalized," Foom told the press Monday morning. "Hibernation is not a crime under any governance, no matter how boorish a providence's peoples.
"I most certainly intend on seeking litigation against Canada," added the heated creature. "And if justice is not served, I vow alternative reprisal."
Early reports suggest Foom filed a civil suit for $2.1 million (a modest $2 million U.S., 13 million Chinese yuan), citing Canadian authorities' "circumstantial evidence" and contending that there were no investigations of the hot-bodied Johnny Storm or Angelica Jones, who'd also been seen in the British Columbia region for athletic competition.
While legal proceedings and further lash-outs linger, Winter Games representatives have contacted the X-Men's Bobby Drake to frost the snow-scant tops of Cypress Mountain in time for this week's competitive events. But even that could not chill the boiled blood of Fin Fang Foom.
"For negligence and heinous exploitation of its foreign visitors," Foom exclaimed, "I, too, BLAME Canada."
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