Sound the trumpets, Marvel faithful
With two weeks of solid Winter Games action on tap, the "Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?!" team will provide daily video and news updates about all your favorite events. From figure skating to ice hockey to cross-country skiing and more, M.O.D.O.K., Gremlin,
As reported to Craig Tello
Snow. Hockey. Sarah McLachlan. Angk! You never hear anyone say, “I’m going on a luxurious, all-inclusive, seven-day vacation in Canada!” Now, I know why.
|M.O.D.O.K.: Marvel Winter Games play-by-play announcer and blogger|
I’ve only been in the Great White North a few days for the Marvel Winter Games and I have to say that I’m already begging to (maple) leave this place. Just try putting yourself in my violet booties …
They say that 50-percent of body heat escapes from the head. It’s an exponentially larger percentage of warmth lost when 75-percent of your body IS your head! Plus, my lips are chapped and are starting to look like Aunt May’s cracked heels (ew!). And not a single bodega in British Columbia carries economy-sized Blistex. I’m a Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing, not chilling!
I didn’t come here just to be the play-by-play man to The Gremlin’s color commentary. I took this gig and traversed up north in hopes of meeting my personal Canadian idol: The original Captain Kirk and Priceline Negotiator (hi-yah!), William Shatner. Instead, I get gold medalist snowboard crosser Maëlle Ricker and caribou after caribou – which, by the way, taste as bad as they smell. Oy!
That silly, swine-devoted amphibian says it’s not easy being green. I say it’s not easy being M.O.D.O.K.
A few days ago, I nearly broke a cybernetic limb while demonstrating the long distance ski jump (Note: Marvel.com, the A.I.M. legal team will be contacting you soon). I’ve gotten so many emails and Tweets from my devotees concerned about my condition. Thank you, my meager organisms designed only for loyalty. Rest assured, your hero M.O.D.O.K. will endure.
That’s all for now. Keep it plugged into Marvel.com (which I’d expect might soon become M.O.D.O.K.com) for the latest from me, Vancouver and the 2010 Marvel Winter Games.
Still desperately seeking Shatner,
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