Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?!

Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?! Winter Games: Day 4

Fin Fang Foom calls a press conference on the fourth day of the 2010 Marvel Winter Games!

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Sound the trumpets, Marvel faithful! It is time for the most epic series of athletic contests, the most anticipated event of the year, the most celebrated spectacle in all the Marvel Universe--the 2010 Marvel Winter Games!

With two weeks of solid Winter Games action on tap, the "Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?!" team will provide daily video and news updates about all your favorite events. From figure skating to ice hockey to cross-country skiing and more, M.O.D.O.K., Gremlin, She-Hulk and all the stars of "What The--?!" will be on-hand to deliver the hard-hitting Marvel Winter Games coverage you're looking for!

By Craig Tello

VANCOUVER - "He whose limbs shatter mountains and whose back scrapes the sun" is Fin Fang fuming after British Columbian authorities ordered Foom to depart from western Vancouver early Sunday, alleging that the 32-foot "dragon" was responsible for the recent snow deficit and warmer than ideal temperatures.

Fin Fang Foom calls a press conference
"Never in my hundreds of years of life have I ever been so vehemently maltreated," huffed Foom, a centuries-old alien from Kakaranathara. "Have you ever been awoken by a team of  Canadian Mounties brusquely prodding your undercarriage? Pfft. As if I were one of those antlered beasts to which they're accustomed. Dreadful."

For weeks, Vancouver officials grew worrisome that the insufficient snow cover upon Cypress Mountain would hinder the rapidly approaching winter games. Tracing a detected heat source, authorities discovered the hibernating dragon-like monster huddled atop the mountain breathing flames of more than 1300°C in its sleep. The drowsy, sloppy-lipped beast's sputum had also settled into a 19-gallon pool of acid spittle.

"I refuse to be marginalized," Foom told the press Monday morning. "Hibernation is not a crime under any governance, no matter how boorish a providence's peoples.

"I most certainly intend on seeking litigation against Canada," added the heated creature. "And if justice is not served, I vow alternative reprisal."

Early reports suggest Foom filed a civil suit for $2.1 million (a modest $2 million U.S., 13 million Chinese yuan), citing Canadian authorities' "circumstantial evidence" and contending that there were no investigations of the hot-bodied Johnny Storm or Angelica Jones, who'd also been seen in the British Columbia region for athletic competition.

While legal proceedings and further lash-outs linger, Winter Games representatives have contacted the X-Men's Bobby Drake to frost the snow-scant tops of Cypress Mountain in time for this week's competitive events. But even that could not chill the boiled blood of Fin Fang Foom.

"For negligence and heinous exploitation of its foreign visitors," Foom exclaimed, "I, too, BLAME Canada."

Watch Day 1 of the Marvel Winter Games: Opening Ceremonies

Watch Day 2 of the Marvel Winter Games: Long Distance Ski Jump

Watch Day 3 of the Marvel Winter Games: Pairs Figure Skating

Stay tuned to Marvel.com and YouTube.com/Marvel throughout the Winter Games for regular updates brought to you like only “Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?!” can!

 

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Comments

3 comments
ohjohnboy
ohjohnboy

I could watch episodes 1-3 and they were great. But I would like to be able to view the others, and unlike the first 3 there were no videos to click on. What's up with that.

Legerd
Legerd

What's with all the Canada hate at Marvel? I'll bet if the games were being held in the States these "What The...?" bits wouldn't be so negative and vile.

rickantel
rickantel

hey marvel why the hell arent you guys posting this stuff on youtube i cant watch these videos on your website and i can on youtube and i really enjoy them so please post the videos over at youtube and i know im not the only one with this problem too so yea post these videos over at youtube please