Sound the trumpets, Marvel faithful! It is time for the most epic series of athletic contests, the most anticipated event of the year, the most celebrated spectacle in all the Marvel Universe--the 2010 Marvel Winter Games!
With two weeks of solid Winter Games action on tap, the "Marvel Super Heroes: What The--?!" team will provide daily video and news updates about all your favorite events. From figure skating to ice hockey to cross-country skiing and more, M.O.D.O.K., Gremlin, She-Hulk and all the stars of "What The--?!" will be on-hand to deliver the hard-hitting Marvel Winter Games coverage you're looking for!
By Craig Tello
VANCOUVER—Scandal has befallen the First Family of Attilan, as Marvel Winter Game officials revealed an investigation into curling gold medalist contenders, the Inhumans, for use of performance enhancing Terrigen Mists.
|Black Bolt Confronted!|
Earlier this week, Black Bolt (a.k.a. Blackagar Boltagon) led his wife Medusa, Karnak and Maximus the Mad to victory in a pulse-pounding curling clash. Less than 24 hours after, the results of tests performed by Dr. Henry McCoy uncovered significant traces of the extraordinary, alien Mists in each of the moon-based members. Officials immediately stripped the family of their win and sequestered the team captain/Inhuman king for interrogation, later alleging that Black Bolt “refused comment.”
Inhumans Triton and Gorgon individually captured silver medals this week as well for their efforts in the little known speed swimming event and lesser known Nordic combined, respectively. Officials told Marvel.com that these Attilans may have to give back their medals.
“Yeah, them too,” winter game commissioners explained.
Marvel.com reporters encountered Black Bolt and his family as they exited their Vancouver hotel, a most unusual extraterrestrial mob trying to avoid a bevy of photographers and media.
A torrent of rowdily hollered questions went unanswered as Black Bolt masked his spouse’s, well, masked face further putting his otherwise negligible armpit wings to use. However, one particularly aggressive Marvel.com paparazzo’s outcry nearly cost Vancouver its entire downtown sector.
“Silence is the crutch of the guilty!” shouted the brazen photog.
The Inhuman king no le gusta. Boltagon’s eyes lit, a harbinger of a fury that would make Sean Penn’s media run-ins look like poignant Barbara Walters Q&As.
But before Black Bolt could collapse all of Robson Square with his hypersonic voice, Karnak found a way – like always – to disarm a threat, holding back his lord in the nick of time.
Curbing the opportunity for any follow-up queries, faithful Inhuman mutt Lockjaw earned his bone by promptly teleporting his family off Canadian soil.
We say GUILTY…And hope that Black Bolt reads the web as much as he speaks.
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