Psych Ward

Psych Ward: Doop

Everyone’s favorite green potato talks over his current life concerns!

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The client, named only as Doop, is…difficult to describe. He (as the client is commonly identified as male although this writer has no knowledge of the client’s gender or biological sex or how one might identify such a thing) is rumored to be a sort of living weapon developed during the Cold War, but the client has refused to confirm or deny this origin. It is unclear if he is one of a kind, if there might be other such experiments, or if he is part of some kind of heretofore unidentified alien race. Again, the client declines to discuss any information regarding this.

Doop presents as a floating yellow-green globule, typically emblazoned with the distinctive “X” marking his affiliation with the mutant rights group the X-Men and its offshoots. It is, however, unclear whether or not he self-identifies as a mutant. He also declines to elucidate this question.

The client speaks in an unknown language that few seem to understand. It is not recognizable to this writer as having similarities to any widespread world languages. It is certainly not Germanic, Romantic or Cyrillic in origin.


      However, the client also possesses the ability to “turn off” one of his brains and when he does so, he can converse in English via his second smaller brain; think the hind brain in dinosaurs. He apparently discovered this when his own primary brain exploded a few years back. This writer sees no long term neurological or cognitive damage from this explosion. Beyond assessing that, however, the writer has no idea what to do with this disclosure.

      The client arrived because of what can be best summarized as a romantic entanglement with a former co-worker at the Jean Grey Academy. Although, given the information shared, this writer can guess at the target of this attraction, the client declined to disclose this information and thus the writer will not hazard a guess.

      In any case, the client and the writer discussed his concerns regarding disclosing this interest to the woman versus the consequences of never speaking his feelings. We explored how he felt about their obvious physical differences, his belief that she might be involved with someone else, and the sensation of wanting more than simple transactional physical intimacy, a feeling apparently very unusual for the client.

          This discussion also led to an exploration of his feelings of being invisible or unnoticed. Doop expressed ambivalence about this, admitting it is what he’s always done and he appreciates being able to help, while also desiring things like credit, support, and, now, love.

          Doop has tentatively agreed to continue to explore these feelings with Doctors Peter Milligan and David Lafuente. His next appointment is set for May 7 and their session notes will be available in file ALL-NEW DOOP #2.

          Psy D. Candidate Tim Stevens, MA is a Dialectical Behavior Therapy Consultant and Psychology intern at a small(ish) university in New York City. His counseling appointments for green floating entities of unknown origins are currently all filled but he’s happy to offer referrals.

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          1 comments
          j.spear
          j.spear

          I like Doop so when I heard he was getting a mini run I automatically put it on my pull list. #1 was booring!!! I had a tough time getting through the issue and started to skim read. Huge disappointment.