ZOMBIES 2 #5
By Ethan Kaye
The MARVEL ZOMBIES 2 mini-series takes its final bite out of fandom on February 27 and at this point you'd think every Marvel character imaginable has become a flesh eater—and you'd be wrong!
With only a few classic zombies left in MARVEL ZOMBIES 2, we probably won't see these folks pulled from the grave, eaten and rotting soon, but nothing's stopping us from dreaming, right? Break out the silverware and the BBQ sauce, we're writin' our zombie wish list!
She's vanquished most of the big names in the Marvel Universe already, but there's no stopping the zombie plague, even by the ever-chipper GLA rodent-woman.
Her tail would probably lose all its hair, turning it into some sort of rat-looking thing, but the buck teeth would remain—and be hella
deadly! Plus she has an army of little zombie squirrels! Who doesn't harbor fears of being attacked by little zombie squirrels?! Note: zombie squirrels could be the most awesome concept ever!
THE IMPOSSIBLE MAN
Take one of the most annoying characters in the history of the Fantastic Four and then up the ante by making him a bloodthirsty, dead-eyed husk of a Popuppian. Son, you've got yourself a crazy awesome time, right there.
He'd probably zip around New York, taking
a sample bite out of everyone he comes across, just to see how everyone tastes. Mmmm…Abe Vigoda…
He'd only be good for one sight gag, but man, what a sight gag it would be!
After decomposing for a while, he'd try to use his vibration gadgets against some wayward super hero and end up shaking himself to little gooey pieces inside his suit. Kinda like filling a plastic freezer bag with chunky chowder. Sentient chunky chowder that wants to eat you.
How many times have you read an issue of UNCANNY X-MEN, WEAPON X or NEW AVENGERS and thought to yourself, "Hmm, this Sauron fellow is mighty nifty, but what if he were nothing more than reptile flesh hanging off spindly little pterodactyl bones? And what if he smelled like a bus in the summertime and wanted to eat me?"
Once Sauron gets the zombie bug, it will all be a reality! Maybe in a "Sauron: The Pterodactyl Zombie Years" mini-series..?
With his scarred-up face, most people probably wouldn't be able to tell a zombified Jigsaw from a non-zombified one, but whatever, that just adds to his stealth and mystique. "Whew, Jigsaw, I'm glad you're here, there are all these zombies around and-GAH! You bit me!"
Eventually, his face would start coming apart like some sort of cake, but for a while he'd have some sort of upper hand in the feeding war.
Wouldn't this be awesome? Since Marvel Zombies keep their powers when they become zombies, the possibilities of a bloodthirsty…um…undead…supernatural creature would be…well, it wouldn't be much of a change, honestly.
He can turn into a bat, that's kinda cool. Zombie bat, right? Cool? Bah, forget we said anything.
Yeah, we said it. We want to see a zombie Linda Carter!
Imagine all the heroes who come to her clinic, hoping for a cure for the zombie plague, only to find a ravenous corpse in an immaculate, sterile nurse's uniform waiting for them with open jaws? Plus she has the little swipey-card that gets her into the hospitals. All-you-can eat…
MARVEL ZOMBIES 2 #5 arrives to sate your hunger on February 27. For an appetizer, get a load of the original MARVEL ZOMBIES at Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited.