Wolverine: Worst Day Ever
Read X-Student Eric Mattias' blog for unique insight inside the Xavier School!
Posted Mar 24, 2009 12:00 am
Updated Apr 8, 2009 10:11 am
Hey, kids! Eric Mattias' name may not be on Magneto's radar but as a student enrolled at Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters, he observes the fabled institution from a unique set of eyes.
While other mutants are off saving the day or training to make X-Man, Eric ostracizes himself from his peers for his insecurity over his uncool power. He spends his time on the computer, reflecting about the world around him, while trying to cope with having "the world's suckiest mutant power."
You want to know what his power is, don't you? Well, in order to get all the details, you'll have to pick up Eric's book "Wolverine: Worst Day Ever" (written by his real world counterpart, Barry Lyga and due in stores everywhere April 22)!
Luckily, we've gotten hold of Eric's journal! We'll post two entries per week sure to shed insight into the life and world of Eric Mattias—look for them on Tuesdays and Thursdays on Marvel.com. The sooner we understand how mutants socially interact, the sooner our societies can peacefully coexist.
"If it's Tuesday, it must be Magneto and the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants"
This entry posted on May 1 at 12:03:10 pm by Eric
That's what Wolverine said right before he popped his claws --SNIKT!--and jumped into battle.
They're not really called "the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants," btw. Because they're bad guys and bad guys never think they're evil. They just are evil. They actually just call themselves the Brotherhood of Mutants.
I'm a mutant, but I'm no brother of theirs.
Anyway…
Sure enough, it was Tuesday. And sure enough, the Brotherhood attacked the Xavier School for Gifted Students. The main building ("the mansion," we call it). Right during lunch, can you believe it?
In case you need a cheat sheet, the Brotherhood of (Evil) Mutants is made up of:
Magneto
Master of Magnetism. He's the leader of the
team and you won't find a nastier or more evil
mutant alive.
Quicksilver
Fastest mutant alive.
Scarlet Witch
Way too pretty to be evil...but she is anyway. Can "affect probability," which is a fancy way of saying that she makes people.
The Toad
I swear to God I'm not making this one
up. He jumps around and he has a long
tongue. I'm serious. I thought my mutant
power sort of sucked and then I heard about this guy.
Then again, at least he gets to
use his power...
But let me get back to the action.
Right after lunch. I was sitting alone — like always — eating whatever was left over when the other students were finished — like always — when the wall to the cafeteria buckled and collapsed — not like always.
The next thing I knew, silverware was flying everywhere! Magneto walked through the hole in the wall like it was a door someone had opened for him.
The silverware chased the other kids around until they ran screaming from the lunchroom. I ducked under a table. Don't ask me why I was hiding. With my mutant power, I never need to hide. I guess it was just reflex.
Wolverine and Colossus were hanging around the cafeteria because it was their day to be Lunch Monitors. By the time Magneto had come into the room, Wolverine had already popped his claws and jumped up onto one of the lunch tables, growling out, "If it's Tuesday, it must—"
Well, you read that part already.
Next thing I knew, the room was full of evil mutants! Scarlet Witch started twisting her hands in the air and tables flipped all over the place. The silverware chased Colossus around the room. A wind whipped up from nowhere and then I realized that the wind was a person
— Quicksilver, moving so fast that you could barely see him.
And Toad. I could hardly believe what I was seeing — he used his tongue like a grappling hook, shooting it out of his mouth, latching onto a hanging light fixture, then swinging into the room to land on a table behind Wolverine.
It happened to be the table I was hiding under. THUD! I thought it was going to collapse on me! For a little guy, that Toad sure does pack some weight.
Next thing I know, Toad's leaping at Wolverine, the two of them snarling. The wind from Quicksilver started whistling and howling — the room felt like ground zero at a tornado strike. I grabbed a table leg and held on for
dear life.
Colossus had metaled up and the silverware kept flying at him, sparking and clashing against his steel skin. It was like thousands of knives being sharpened all at once, the sound of screaming, clanging blades filling the
air.
Wolverine dodged Toad, but lost his balance as his table shifted suddenly. Scarlet Witch. Her mutant luck powers!
"Time to put the witch's lights out!" Wolverine called out to Colossus.
"Right!" Colossus called back, sweeping one enormous arm to knock away about a million knives and forks. "Fastball special!"
Oh, a fastball special! This would be good. That's when Colossus grabs Wolverine and throws him at the bad guy. I love that!
I crawled out from under the table to get a better view. This would be something to see! With all that silverware flying around? And with the wind? It would look awesome when Wolverine went soaring through the air, straight at the Scarlet Witch, to knock her on her butt. Maybe he would even bounce off of her and smack into Magneto.
Could I actually be lucky enough to see that?
I slid on my butt across the floor, closer to
Colossus. Excellent vantage point. I would see
everything from here.
Wolverine hurtled through the air and right into Colossus's arms. Colossus spun around
once to get some momentum and then took a
step and—Yeow! —smashed into me! Almost stepped right on me with that ginormous steel foot of his!
Now, Colossus is a big, strong guy...even when he's not made out of ten billion pounds of stainless steel. But no matter how big and strong you are, if you're lunging in some direction and something trips you up, it's not gonna be pretty. Take it from me — like I said before, I had a great vantage point for all of this.
"What're you doin'?" Wolverine shouted as Colossus staggered and then fell flat on his face. It sounded like a big, huge frying pan slapping concrete.
And Wolverine went flying all right...but not in that "fastball special" kind of way, a cool arc that launches him up in the air, coming back to down to unload two fistfuls of righteous anger on a bad guy.
No, he hurtled straight ahead, pinwheeling his arms like a fat guy tripping over a log, and then crashed headlong into a wall, never coming anywhere near Scarlet Witch.
"I...tripped…!" Colossus said.
"Ya think?" Wolverine shook his head and started to get up.
 |
Instead of hitting his head on the wall, I bet Wolverine could have chopped through it. Like this! |
I didn't know what to do. Apologize? In the middle of a big fight? It's not like Colossus could know he tripped over me…
"Ending Danger Room simulation," said a very familiar voice.
Professor X.
Oops. Now I was in big trouble.
More later.
Read Eric's Second Blog Entry Here!
Keep posted to Marvel.com for more from Eric next week! And don't forget to get yourself a copy of "Wolverine: Worst Day Ever," in stores everywhere on April 22.
Check out the official Marvel Shop for the best mighty Marvel merchandise!
Download episodes of "X-Men: Evolution" now on iTunes!