How to Hunt Raccoons

In a universe full of monsters, talking animals, and spider people, only one villain stands bold enough to hunt them all down and showcase their hides like a badge of honor: Kraven the Hunter.

To help get all you novice hunters out there ready we asked ROCKET RACCOON #3 writer Matthew Rosenberg to pass on a little of Kraven’s wisdom. For your convenience we’ve taken the liberty of putting it all together in a very special how-to guide:

1. “First things first, raccoons are crafty little beasts so make sure you have secured a bag or cage capable of holding them. This is important because there is no honor is capturing your prey if you cannot showcase it to lesser hunters.”

2. “Remember to keep your plan simple; we are only dealing with a raccoon. Never underestimate your prey.”

3. “Use your environment. On Earth, raccoons are considered disgusting and unwelcome animals. This disgust is only magnified when it is a freakish, genetically enhanced, alien raccoon, so follow the shrieks of commoners. If this does not work, try searching near garbage cans.”

4. “Be prepared for anything. Remember that the hunter is the true weapon, and an honorable one bests his prey with only the bear minimum. If they are without a weapon, throw yours aside. However, in the case of an intelligent, weapons crazed vermin – always have a bigger gun.”

5. “Always be willing to go further than your prey. If they steal an assault vehicle, steal a tank. If they take cover inside a secure facility, bring down the building. Persistence is key. A master hunter is not deterred by even the most daunting circumstances.”

7. “Maintain the element of surprise and cut off all escape routes. Raccoons are quick and chasing them down is both annoying and tiring. Anticipate and remove all possible means of escape before launching your well devised sneak attack.”

And that’s it! You’re now prepared to head out on your first alien raccoon hunt and with Rocket stranded in New York now marks the opportune time to make your move. Though it may be well advised to wait and see how Kraven does chasing him across the city before you launch your full-scale attack. After all Rocket isn’t your ordinary prey.